Squad

Peter Robson

Peter Robson (Played by model)

After a troubled first season which included an unfortunate incident in the dressing room, he became the keeper of choice throughout the second. At 33 he is the oldest member of the squad and this could be his last season.

Calvin Staunton

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Calvin is the team joker. Took over as team captain from Donovan Perry midway through season 2. Proving to be an inspirational captain, who will surely lead his team back to Premiership action.

Daley Fisher & Philip Mohan

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Daley (on left) and Phil are the two youngest players on the squad. Pictured here recieving their ‘Young Talent Award’ they have both moved up from the Highcroft youth squad. Daley could be the replacement for the ageing Peter Robson. Phil is showing great promise in midfield.

Donovan Perry

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Long haired Donovan was the clubs leading scorer in season 1, which is odd as he’s a defender. However it was his skill with a dead ball that earned him the title that led to a film ‘Peach it like Perry’ in which he failed to pass the audition, as he “Wasn’t enough like Donovan Perry.” such is the surreal world of Hollywood.

Geoff Kibble

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Geoff caused a bit of controversy recently causing a fuss over the fact he wasn’t getting enough first team action. However, he failed to realise he had actually played 11 of 12 games but manager JB thought he hadn’t played either as he was barely noticed on the pitch. Likely to be transfer listed very soon.

Hal Brekin

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Hal was signed last season from Florida Flopsies where he had scored an amazing 78 goals in one season. He describes himself as “American through and through” but it turns out his parents are Irish emigrees Pat and Seamus Brekin from Cork. It also turns out he actually scored only 7 OR 8 goals for the Flopsies. Hal is actually also called Seamus, but changed his name to Hal so as not to confuse the Americans when they emigrated in 2005.

Brian Wade

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Brilliant defender Brian is always banging on the door of the Xpert XI team of the week, with no fewer than 10 appearences. Should be another excellent season for the 25 year old.

Nicky Poole

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Nicky is proving to be a waste of space.

Bob Jeffers

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So is Bob.

Norman Huntington

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Norman is the Hornets latest signing, and looks promising. A fantastic addition to the three staunch defenders at the back. Unfortunately has been beaten to the ‘Stormin Norman’ title by ‘Stormin Staunton’, which although different would just cause confusion on the pitch.

Aaron Gullian

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Aaron (seen here in in traditional dress) is from Trinidad. His laid back style has had a very calming effect on the team, which goes against the high pressure environment of the M-F League. Was recently fined by the club whilst on a night out with Jane Marples’ mum. Aaron said “Hey man, I never knowd dat M-F mean’ Monday Friday!” Jane Marple said “I don’t know what happened that night, but Mum hasn’t stopped smiling!”

Eugene Avery (Photo not yet available)

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Latest ‘talent’ from youth team. Skill level 2. Say no more. Transfer listed with the biggest liar of an agent.

Bob Johnson (Youth team Coach and matchday medic)

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Bob is never seen without his water bottles.

2 responses to “Squad

  1. Ken Twoddle

    roflmao !

  2. ianbaird

    me too!

    I’ve never seen so many asses on one page.

    Expect multiple lawsuits from the donkey sanctuary.

    DD

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