Monthly Archives: April 2008

Buzzin Hornets

Well, the news is finally out…

C Beezenruun has finally sold the club to none other than flamboyant ex Formula One team boss Eddie Jordan.

JB said:

“It was a bit of a shock actually, I only met him briefly at the Barcelona Grand Prix a few years ago, and to have him now as club owner is fantastic news!”

JB meets Eddie Jordan in Barcelona

“He’s promised us that there will be ‘a shedload of cash’ by the end of the season, regardless of how we perform this season.  You have to beleive him when you consider what he did with Jordan Racing.  This is the best news the club has ever had – God, we even have the same corporate colours!”

I asked Eddie what made him invest in The Hornets.

“Well, when I was told that JB was running the club I was a little surprised to be honest, but I initially had no hesitation in purchasing the club.  However, it was only this morning that I found out that the JB in question wasn’t Jenson Button!  But a deal’s a deal and I’m sure we can make this a success.”

Could this be the re-birth of the Hornets, now to be known as the Buzzin’ Hornets.

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Hornets 1 – 1 STA

In private, JB was expecting the worst.

When the reality was that nothing less than a win could guarantee Premiership status, to be facing the Champions in your final match was a little daunting.  His fear were compounded when they went down after only 4 minutes to a sloppy piece of defending which put Aaron Whalley through for the opening  goal.  The need to push forward then left further gaps which STA duly exploited, but the Hornets sheer determination saw the wing backs put in a gruelling performance running the length of the pitch time after time.

The second half saw the Hornets really step up a gear with wave upon wave of attack eventually rewarded on 83 minutes with Geoff Kibble’s precision lob over keeper James Walker to give the point to the home side.

Calvin Staunton was rewarded with yet another Xpert Eleven captaincy on his final game and it was a nice touch that todays STA reserve goalie – the legendary Warren Trigg was there to present the trophy to an emotional Staunton, who was consoled by celebrity chef Gordon Ramsey – although no one knows what he was doing there.

Calvin receives his award from Trigg An emotional Staunton receives his award from Trigg

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Hustlers 1 – 0 Hornets

JB’s side were clearly out for a draw this afternoon as they took on Henry’s Hustlers at the Leeroy Jenkins Stadium.

Packing the goalmouth with their own players, it was difficult to see how this was going to develop into ant sort of football match. However, it was Highcroft who had the first attempt on goal, with Wilf Spedding in his debut appearance for the club breaking out of his own six yard box with a fine 10 yard run before launching a thundering drive at the Hustlers goal. Unfortunately it didn’t quite make the halfway line.

The referee, sensing that the crowd were rather unhappy at seeing no football, chose this moment to show young Daley Fisher a straight red card for swinging off the crossbar while Darren Billing fetched the ball back, much to the delight of the crowd.

This however, served merely to tighten the Hornets resolve and they quickly regrouped on the goal line for the rest of the game.

Clearly, referee Tage Duvage now had a problem. In order to pick up his paycheck from the Hustlers, he needed to find a way to get the Hornets off the goal line.

On 65 minutes The Hustlers Martin Litu slipped his hand up Joan Valcarce’s top, copping a feel and earning him a yellow card for sexual harassment. Not adverse to controversy with the Hornets, as seen in their recent game with Oxenhope (see report) , the ref then took the opportunity and awarded the Hustlers a controversial penalty. With only the injured Klijnhout to beat, Todd Cole coolly slipped the ball neatly into the bottom right corner, giving the keeper no chance, and the Hornets a similar chance of staying in the Premiership.

dsc00782.jpgKlinjhout is beaten by Cole’s superb penalty

Martin Robertson.

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